While I'm finally done with all of my busy things that I have been preoccupied with for the past two weeks, keeping me from posting, I realized that I don't have much to write about. It was that which caused me to take a story from the vault. If you may recall, I was about to do an Easter Day post when Harry the K passed. I had already written it out but decided to save it up for either next Easter, or a time like this.
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Before I talk about my interesting Easter Sunday, I would just like to talk about my last post. I have been asked by several people whether I think the Phillies will be chumps throughout the year. I am guessing this came about from the title of the post, particularly the Champs to Chumps part. To answer your questions, no I do not think the Phillies will be bad this year. In fact, I am predicting another excellent season. From now on, try not to take the titles so seriously, I typically go for alliteration or something catchy, just to get the attention of my beloved viewers.
For staying with me through that unbelievably rambly paragraph, I offer this hilarious video as a reward. Onto my Easter Sunday. I woke up much too early just to beat the crowds at the 8 o'clock mass. While at first a little bitter, I realized it was well worth it. The fact that I had to get ready in 5 minutes really came back to bite me later, as I will let you know about in a bit. Back to mass, now. My mother, Jeffrey J., and I were seated right behind a young couple with two little kids. One of the kids was pretty much exactly like yours truly. He was blonde (I used to be blonde when I was a wee little tike), unbelievably loud and disruptive, and most importantly, he rocked the sweater vest. Although this little fellow of 2 years old probably did not dress himself, its pretty safe to say that he has a lot of potential. He could be my heir apparent to wearing sweater vests, or he might even surpass me. Judging by the attitude he showed while strutting his stuff, he will be a pro in no time.
After mass was over, I remembered that O-Star Superstar would be in attendance at 8 o'clock mass. I quickly seeked him out and found him, and I have to say, I was extremely taken aback by his attire. While usually seen sporting 15 junkie undershirts, O-Star was actually wearing a respectable sweater. I have a feeling his mom dressed him up that morning, because there is no way Omar would have the brains to put the sweater on. After ribbing him for it a bit, we left for home.
When we arrived back at the house, I made a casual discovery that the Easter Bunny had dropped by for a visit. While he is only my second favorite rabbit (that's right I'm talking about you, Raul), he left some mean treats this year. I found some cash money, Twizzlers, and the little Reese's Cups that everyone likes (On the subject of Reese's. Does it rhyme with pieces or does it have the pronunciation of Reesie's? I've always wondered that, especially when pronunciating Reese's Pieces. As you can see, it can be quite problematic, for me at least). After dabbling into my Easter candy, it was time to head off to Aunt Judy's house for Easter dinner.
If you don't know my family, they all read the blog and are huge fans. One such fan is my Uncle Kevin. I have to give you a little background information on my Uncle Kevin before I go into what happened at Judy's. Kevin owns a boat. He is cool. That's about all you really need to know about Kevin and you could probably spend every waking moment with him like you are best friends with him. But I'll let you know a little more about him. He has an interesting gift-giving pattern. Instead of doing the ridiculous extra work of giving gifts two times a year, one on your birthday and one during the holidays, Kevin just takes care of it all at Christmas time. Sometimes he gets a little backed up, and gives us our Christmas presents on our birthday, and our birthday presents on Christmas. No matter what he does, he always seems to be giving us a gift from a time before. I really have no idea how or when the cycle will end, but I look forward to receiving more belated gifts. Kevin is also a smart betting man. He proposed a seemingly impossible bet to win, that Penncrest would beat Strath Haven in the Media Bowl. I believe the last time this occurred was all the way back in 1983, yes even before the year 1985 inspired a hit single by Bowling for Soup, which, if you might have guessed, I have some emotional ties to. Anyway, I bet him a birthday cake since it was his birthday. Strath Haven went on to lose to Penncrest, and it still haunts me to this day. I still have not given him his birthday cake, but considering he always owes me gifts, I guess I owe him one now.
Back to the main point about Kevin. When I woke up early Easter morning, I had to throw on something very quick. While I would normally rock the sweater vest in any situation, I put on a regular sweater that day. It shames me to say that I was too negligent to take it off during my resting period at home. I walked into Judy's house and saw Kevin in a sweater vest. As you can imagine, it was more awkward than that ridiculously creepy and unbelievably sexual Quizno's commercial. I had to deal with the constant put-downs from Kevin. Even though he called me a sell-out, and probably every synonym for that in the thesaurus, he still got the shout-out that he rightfully deserved.
The best part about the dinner itself was not having to force-feed Judy's mashed potatos down my throat. No offense to Judy, but she is not the best cook. She comes over every Wednesday, with her mashed potatos as flavorless as P.J. Blands and pork as dry as the Sahara. Thankfully, Kevin came up big in more ways than one when he made the mashed potatos for the family. In reality, Kevin took no part in making the mashed potatos, that would be his wife and my Aunt Mary. But he took credit for them, and that's all that matters. Judy did do a great job with the ham, however, seeing as it wasn't too dry. Job well done indeed. I'm sure none of you care what other food we ate there, but the kielbasa was deliciously made by my Grandmom. As was the disgusting-looking orange gelatin blob. It actually looks more grotesque than it does in the picture because it has pieces of carrots in it. But believe me, it's the secret weapon because it surprises you. It's kind of like Susan Boyle: it's downright hideous on the outside, but it can really surprise you when it shows what it's capable of.
Besides dinner, the highlight of the rest of the night had to be sitting back with my Grandpop and watching Angel Cabrera, the real "El Pato," pump his fists in ecstasy after winning the Masters, only to hear a few groans from the crowd. It reminded me a lot about this video at the 2:13 mark.
That just about sums up the Sobel Soup's Easter Sunday.
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Fat Dub must have been very hungry during our big test, because right in the middle of it he let out a huge bellow of the stomach, or so he claims. I thought it to be flatulence, but the world will never be sure. I'd just like to tell Ibo DeGrouchy to hang in there. He really needs help at a time like this, when he actually did his answers in a number 1 pencil instead of a number 2. Oh, Ticonderoga. Always tricking your loyal customers.
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This video has been sent in by loyal fan, and beatboxer, Saumon Oboudiyat. The guy in this video is unbelievable, as you are all about to see. Enjoy.
Always Serving,
Sobel Soup
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