The Life and Times of Judith A. Sobel

I have been asked many a times whether or not I actually serve daily or not, and judging by the fact that I do not post everyday, the answer is no. While some have taken this news in stride, others, including my grandparents, have criticized me and sent me highly-threatening emails telling me to change the banner at the top, or else. Because it took me so long to make, however, that portion of the Soup Kitchen will not be changing.

Having my first study-free, normal week was good for a change. The most entertaining day was by far Wednesday. No, it wasn't because of the Lost season finale (which was an amazing episode, by the way). This wednesday, just like any other wednesday in fact, was so special because the Sobels were graced with the presence of our beloved Aunt Judy. She comes pretty much because she has absolutely nothing else to do with her life, considering she is now retired. Needless to say, Aunt Judy is undoubtedly one of my favorite people ever.

One of which is that she can't cook. As many of you probably know from the Easter Day post, Judy makes mashed potatos worse than your normal 2 year old. You would think that after a while, she would at least improve or seek out some advice as to how to improve these pieces of matter she calls food. This never happened. While the potatos did get a little better over time, I would probably rather consume a live animal rather than eat her mashed potatos. Fortunately for all of us involved, Judy has stopped making the mashed potatos. The bad cooking carries over to most of the other things she makes. Pasta, for example. You are all probably saying to yourself for me to stop, that it is impossible to mess up pasta. Not for Judy. A few years back, Uncle Kevin stopped by Judy's (Just so all of you know, Kevin is Judy's nephew. Aunt Judy is actually my great-aunt). She offered to make him pasta and he happily accepted. Judy put the pasta in the boiling water and went to talk with Kevin. She got a little preoccupied, and by the time she remembered that she was actually cooking something, there was no water left and the pasta was hardened, inedible, and sticking to the sides of the pot. I'm pretty sure only Judy would ever let that happen to her, but it really doesn't surprise me.

Judy is the biggest chatterbox the world has ever seen. When I said that she got a little preoccupied last paragraph, I meant that she was yapping non-stop, which is pretty typical of Judy. If you can imagine hearing this, but for all times of the day, you know what it feels to be around Judy. I have been searching all my life to find out how long it took Judy to stop talking. I finally found out this summer. Judy went with her other friends to Italy on a two week vacation. When they were going home, one of Judy's friends asked her if she was alright. Judy said she was fine. The friend told her she was concerned and asked Judy why she wasn't talking. To this Judy responded: "I guess I just ran out of things to talk about." So there it is, the question many have asked but few have ever been priveleged to know the answer to.

Not only does Judy talk a lot, but she talks extremely loud as well. It might be that her elderly ears cannot judge how loud she actually is, but either way, if Judy is in the same zip code as you, it won't be too hard for you to hear her. She isn't just loud in normal conversation either. She kicks it up a notch when attending or watching sporting events. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for being an enthusiastic fan. Judy can get a little overzealous. She has a good reason for yelling when the Philadelphia teams are playing, but it's a different story with other sporting events, such as horse-racing. Even though she has probably never watched a horse race before, Judy became the number one fan of Mine That Bird on the Kentucky Derby. She lives about 30 minutes away, across the bridge in New Jersey. I kid you not when I tell you I heard her yells for the horse all the way from my house. As to why she was rooting for Mine That Bird, she had no explanation. It is this innocent enthusiasm for the game that keeps the people in appreciation of Judy.

Most believe this enthusiasm to be a product of Judy's inner child. While the children inside of us typically leave regular adults around the age of 20, Judy has actually never lost hers, and she is 66 years old. She enjoys trips to Friendly's more than I, and she doesn't even get the Happy Endings. I kid you not when telling you that she orders off of the kid menu. Not only does she love Friendly's, but she also loves amusement parks. I feel like I have to be the parent around her because she would spend all of her money on tickets if I wasn't around.

Besides all of these things, the rest of Judy's attributes are pretty standard. It is the things above that make her stand out above the rest.
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I have to give a shout out to Jayson Werth for stealing four bases, three in one inning, including home, in a recent game. Even though he could have conserved his energy and actually scored from the bases being walked, it was much cooler stealing three bases on his own for one whole inning. I also have to ask J.A. Happ whether to pronounce his first name with 2 syllables or one. The one syllable would be assuming he pronounces it Jay, and I have heard rumblings concerning the fact that he does indeed do that.
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The following video was sent in by a viewer who was more secretive than the Illuminati concerning their name. I do love this song, however, and am more than willing to accomodate them in their request.



Always Serving,

Sobel Soup