You won't be hearing a lot about my recent vacation taken with O-Star Superstar and his family. I usually find errors in common life or complain about things; that is what makes this blog successful. The thing about this vacation is that I have very little to actually complain about. This is the first time in history that the Sobel Soup does not have a farmer's tan. With that checked off my list, I only have "Grow a beard similar to Greg Oden's (but never equal, because it is impossible for anyone to equal the mystical prowess of said beard)" and "Become Morgan Freeman's replacement by having the greatest voice known to mankind" still on my to-do list.
One of the things I loved about going to St. Maarten is the airport travel. It makes you feel like a star because you actually board the plane from the ground. The only thing that makes you feel not as special is that everyone else does it, probably because the airport is too poor to afford indoor entrances for every plane. Everyone always complains about airline food, but I find that the problem doesn't always lie there. Instead, it is the food inside the airport that is ridiculous. For a personal pan pizza from Domino's, which would be equal to about 1.5-2 regular slices of pizza, they charged 8 dollars. I don't want to sound like the stingiest person in the world, but that price is just flat out absurd. I ended up spending $20 on a lunch/dinner (linner or dunch? I'm thinking linner) in the airport, and I'm not too happy about it. Besides that, really nothing went wrong on my vacation.
___________________________________________________
It was a clear success, and it was the first successful campaign for me ever. Not only did we vote Shane Victorino into the All-Star Game, he was a starter and he scored a run. Yes, I do realize he got 15 million votes, and my impact upon him winning the Final Vote was probably miniscule at best, every vote counted, and I felt like I did my part. I am proud of my contribution, and am expecting Shane's thank you letter in the mail any day now. I do have to say that I am disappointed by the National League's performance in the All-Star game. Their 13th straight winless effort did not stop me from noticing the obscure things that I have a knack for doing. I now present my 5 favorite things about the All-Star weekend.
5. Jayson Werth's Facial Hair: I'm so glad he got chosen to be an allstar for the simple reason that I got to see his goatee/wolf hair.
4. Albert Pujols's wild child/bald head: When Phat Albert was at the plate during the home run derby, his young boy was straight up loving it. Every home run hit, he would jump around as if the song were playing. I also loved seeing Albert's bald head on TV. It was so shiny I could actually see the camera crew who was filming him.
3. Prince Fielder's Girth: Also on showcase at the home run derby, every time the Prince would swing, his chubby waist would fly around his body. It was even better when ESPN did the slow-motion replays (they did this a few times for Prince) because you could watch all of his flab fly through the picture faster than his bat did.
2. The mute button: I'm not talking about the Fox crew at all (Call me crazy but I actually like Joe Buck; McCarver is another story). My biggest complaint lies with the ESPN crew doing the Home Run Derby. It's bad enough having to suffer through a regular Chris Berman show or a Joe Morgan baseball game, but this brought out the worst in both. When you combine these two men's broadcasting abilities (if you actually call that ability) and a three hour event where there is actually action for maybe an hour of it, the going gets bad. Very bad. That's where the mute button came into play. I didn't have to listen to Chris Berman's "Back, Back, Back" calls or Joe Morgan's rants that had nothing to do with what was going on. Boomer's "WOW, THAT ONE IS WAY BACK. IT'S A HOME RUN" calls that he did at least 20 times during the broadcast (for the part that I listened to) is a huge overreaction. I mean a) it is a home run derby, home runs are supposed to be hit (unless you're name is Brandon Inge) and b) you can maybe do that call on one or two home runs the whole time. But when Ryan Howard barely inches one over the wall, it is unnecessary, trust me. The only good part about hearing them broadcast the Derby was that I got reminded of why I loved this website so much.
This last one is actually something that I disliked. No, Facebook doesn't let you do it, but it doesn't mean that I can't.
1. Ryan Franklin's disgusting goatee: Some of you may say this is similar to Greg Oden's beard. To those of you who make this vile claim, I am ashamed to have you read my blog. Just kidding, but not really. Seriously, why does it need to be that big? Is he hiding something inside of it? Maybe he lost his mirror in there. That's the only possible explanation of why he continues to allow that hideous rodent grow on his face.
___________________________________________________
This video was sent in by another anonymous viewer, and I thought that with the ESPY's fast approaching, I might as well put it in.
Always Serving,
Sobel Soup
Friday, July 17, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
A Campaign for Shane
With the 2009 MLB all-star game approaching, there is a perfectly deserving member who has been left off the squad. I am of course talking about Shane Victorino, also known as the Flyin' Hawaiian (Yes, I did spell that right, but it took some research to do so.) The fans who did him so wrong in the all-star vote have a second chance to redeem themselves. This is done by the MLB Final Vote. Five players from each league are chosen as candidates for the final vote, and one from each league is chosen as the 34th and last player to be added to the squad. It is now my mission to get Shane Victorino elected to the National League Allstar Team.
I have a history with elections, particularly these Final Vote ones. Last year, the Phillies had another candidate: Pat Burrell (click on that link, it's a fine display of brute strength.) No exxageration here, I probably voted 1,000 times. It helped that I got Pat's voting code for cellular phones, and I knew how to do the 10 message in 1 thing. I believe Pat ended up 3rd. I didn't feel like my efforts were wasted though, I thought it bonded 'The Bat' and I closer together. I have made no secrets about it, he was probably my favorite Phillies player. Ever. That's actually a bit of an overstatement. He isn't my favorite ever. But honestly, who else has his own shirt, can do this on live television, and can create a moment like this. Although he left for the Rays in the offseason, the Phillies are lucky they replaced him with someone like Raul Ibanez. Yeah, Ibanez would have been an MVP candidate had he not gotten injured, but the main reason that I like him so much is because I can do the RAUUUUUUUUUUUL chant whenever he does something good.
Not only was I unsuccessful in voting in the Bat, I was unsuccessful in my attempt to get the Dream Ticket in office. Believe me, it was more absurd than the Corrupt Bargain of 1824 (there's your history lesson), but 0 members of the Dream Ticket were elected. Even their chief competition, J.D. Sparks XIV and Paul Manwaring, weren't elected. I am ashamed to say I didn't vote for the Dream Ticket or their rivals. In fact, I voted for no one, and I feel like an absolute fool. For some reason, I thought you were allowed to vote for three people even though it clearly stated on the paper "Pick 2." Maybe it's because everything I touch is fake, who knows? The bottomline is, I clearly have trouble getting those of my choice elected.
Hopefully that will change with this campaign for Shane. I also came up with a catchy slogan for this as well. It reads "Use Your Brain: Vote for Shane." You can just trust me on this; out of the five players competing for the last spot, Shane deserves to get in by the numbers. What I am focusing on is the behind-the-scenes actions that give him reason to be an All-star. First, he loves Spam. No other favorite food would actually be worth blogging about except for Spam. What other meat company rhymes with its main product and has a full shop that includes an array of fashionable clothes and other completely unnecessary accessories. Seriously, who wouldn't want that hot Spam suit? Or that navy blue Spam tie? Classy. The second thing about Shane is that he is Hawaiian. Quick question, how many of you wish you were Hawaiian? If your hand isn't raised, I question whether you would enjoy a conversation with Coach Ed. It's one of the first places I would go on vacation if I had a choice, and the people there are so easy to get along with. I only know of three Hawaiians: Shane Victorino, and Dylan and Morgan Langley. All three are some of the coolest people ever (the Langley brothers play Swat Soccer.) If that isn't good enough reason for voting for Shane, maybe the fact that he can walk on water because he is so fast will do the trick for you.
Shane is clearly taking this all in, and he is especially appreciative of my campaigning for him. For those of you who watched the Phillies 10 spot the Reds in the first inning of this fine Monday evening of July 6th, it included a 2 run homer by none other than the man of the hour himself. After he crossed home plate, he looked up directly into the camera and said "That was for you Sobel Soup. Use Your Brain: Vote for Shane!" I was surprised that I could actually hear what he was saying, and I'm still unsure how he knew I was campaigning for him; this post hasn't even come out yet. I guess that's just another reason why you should vote for Shane: He is psychic. I'm going to try to include a voting widget in this blog that easily allows you to vote for Shane, but if it doesn't work out, I will link to MLB.com. And honestly, if you can't get to the Final Vote from there, you might not have a brain.
___________________________________________________
Along with celebrating the 4th of July this week, all of us across the sporting world received awful news about the death of Steve McNair. I am bypassing video from one of you guys this week in honor of Air McNair, the toughest quarterback I have ever witnessed.
Always Serving,
Sobel Soup
I have a history with elections, particularly these Final Vote ones. Last year, the Phillies had another candidate: Pat Burrell (click on that link, it's a fine display of brute strength.) No exxageration here, I probably voted 1,000 times. It helped that I got Pat's voting code for cellular phones, and I knew how to do the 10 message in 1 thing. I believe Pat ended up 3rd. I didn't feel like my efforts were wasted though, I thought it bonded 'The Bat' and I closer together. I have made no secrets about it, he was probably my favorite Phillies player. Ever. That's actually a bit of an overstatement. He isn't my favorite ever. But honestly, who else has his own shirt, can do this on live television, and can create a moment like this. Although he left for the Rays in the offseason, the Phillies are lucky they replaced him with someone like Raul Ibanez. Yeah, Ibanez would have been an MVP candidate had he not gotten injured, but the main reason that I like him so much is because I can do the RAUUUUUUUUUUUL chant whenever he does something good.
Not only was I unsuccessful in voting in the Bat, I was unsuccessful in my attempt to get the Dream Ticket in office. Believe me, it was more absurd than the Corrupt Bargain of 1824 (there's your history lesson), but 0 members of the Dream Ticket were elected. Even their chief competition, J.D. Sparks XIV and Paul Manwaring, weren't elected. I am ashamed to say I didn't vote for the Dream Ticket or their rivals. In fact, I voted for no one, and I feel like an absolute fool. For some reason, I thought you were allowed to vote for three people even though it clearly stated on the paper "Pick 2." Maybe it's because everything I touch is fake, who knows? The bottomline is, I clearly have trouble getting those of my choice elected.
Hopefully that will change with this campaign for Shane. I also came up with a catchy slogan for this as well. It reads "Use Your Brain: Vote for Shane." You can just trust me on this; out of the five players competing for the last spot, Shane deserves to get in by the numbers. What I am focusing on is the behind-the-scenes actions that give him reason to be an All-star. First, he loves Spam. No other favorite food would actually be worth blogging about except for Spam. What other meat company rhymes with its main product and has a full shop that includes an array of fashionable clothes and other completely unnecessary accessories. Seriously, who wouldn't want that hot Spam suit? Or that navy blue Spam tie? Classy. The second thing about Shane is that he is Hawaiian. Quick question, how many of you wish you were Hawaiian? If your hand isn't raised, I question whether you would enjoy a conversation with Coach Ed. It's one of the first places I would go on vacation if I had a choice, and the people there are so easy to get along with. I only know of three Hawaiians: Shane Victorino, and Dylan and Morgan Langley. All three are some of the coolest people ever (the Langley brothers play Swat Soccer.) If that isn't good enough reason for voting for Shane, maybe the fact that he can walk on water because he is so fast will do the trick for you.
Shane is clearly taking this all in, and he is especially appreciative of my campaigning for him. For those of you who watched the Phillies 10 spot the Reds in the first inning of this fine Monday evening of July 6th, it included a 2 run homer by none other than the man of the hour himself. After he crossed home plate, he looked up directly into the camera and said "That was for you Sobel Soup. Use Your Brain: Vote for Shane!" I was surprised that I could actually hear what he was saying, and I'm still unsure how he knew I was campaigning for him; this post hasn't even come out yet. I guess that's just another reason why you should vote for Shane: He is psychic. I'm going to try to include a voting widget in this blog that easily allows you to vote for Shane, but if it doesn't work out, I will link to MLB.com. And honestly, if you can't get to the Final Vote from there, you might not have a brain.
___________________________________________________
Along with celebrating the 4th of July this week, all of us across the sporting world received awful news about the death of Steve McNair. I am bypassing video from one of you guys this week in honor of Air McNair, the toughest quarterback I have ever witnessed.
Always Serving,
Sobel Soup
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Catching Up With Uncle Kevin
I lied. This isn't Jake's guest post, but it's not my fault. I honestly started this post off planning to use it as Jake's but he still has some editing to do, so I'm posting something else. I would like to promise and say next time it is TBD's, but you never know. Also, I have a message to the homeless. I'm not really sure where this blog is going. That could mean many things, one of which would be shutting it down. Now, that is a very extreme circumstance and will most likely not occur. The most probable case will result in me blogging much less. This is due to many things: my habitual laziness, conflicts, and criticism are the main components. I have had no conflicts the past week or so, but haven't posted because I haven't felt like it. Unfortunately, I have another vacation coming up soon, so that will mean another break. Now for the biggest part: the criticism. Similar to other bloggers in this era, I have faced much of it concerning my blogging hobby. Contrary to popular belief, not all bloggers are 40 year olds living in their mother's basements. Yes I do happen to live in my parent's house, but it is more because I am 16 (still waiting for that surprise party) and still in high school, and not because I am a loser who never got a real job. Probably the biggest critic of my blog is T.J. Adams, who I know is reading this line and loving it as we speak because he finally got that shoutout. Everybody's favorite middle school basketball coach doubts whether I go out on Friday nights, and has told me I need to get an interest in women. He clearly missed the Ladies, Meet the Sobel Soup post. I can't give Mr. Adams too much grief, for it was his genius that created Wisconsin, the best basketball play known to mankind.
___________________________________________________
This Monday, I received an email from my Uncle Kevin titled "Corrections." Because I have twice messed up the facts about Kevin, I am just going to show you all what he had to say, with my two cents put in where necessary.
Hey, we briefly touched on this during our B-day call, and I think you should rethink your journalistic integrity rules. You may not have to go the whole nine yards with getting confirmation of sources and stuff like that, but you need to at least get your stories straight.
I'm pretty sure I've called you on other birthdays. Maybe not all of them, but some of them. This past June 11th was not the first time ever. (Editor's Note: Notice how he called me the day after my birthday, not actually on it.)
Also, the main purpose of my call was to wish you a happy birthday. The fact that the conversation happened to go in the direction of your blog and the fact that you only mentioned one boat was just a coincidence. (Ed. Note: Whatever lets you sleep at night. And just so you know, you should strive to use the phrase "the fact that" only once per sentence at a maximum. I would know. I'm a writer.)
However, the main point of this email is to make a correction to your statement that I have a house boat. I do not have a house boat. I have a boat that I use as a house. Big difference, huge difference, very similar to this clip from the 4 minute mark to the end. (Ed. Note: I linked it for him. And this was the first I had seen of Captain Ron. Needless to say I watched the whole movie and was flabberghasted that I had never seen nor heard of this fine piece of film before. I whole-heartedly recommend it)
This is a house boat:
This is our boat (Ed. Note: That he uses as a house. Looks like some one forgot to be specific):
As you can see, HUGE difference, HUGE difference. Again, it's a boat that we are able to live on. NOT a house boat. Maybe you could stop by sometime and see it. Like last year when you were down with Aunt Judy and you didn't stop by. Maybe this year you could stop by. (Ed. Note: He really knows how to put on the guilt trip, but I have stopped by before, just not when he was there)
Your loving Uncle,
Kevin
When asked about why the concern over telling readers that he has a house boat, Kevin draws the line when readers "start to thinking I'm also have a couple of teeth missing, wear flannel shirts and greasy John Deere hats." Judging by your grammar, I couldn't blame them if they did. Just putting it out there, I have nothing wrong with flannel shirts and John Deere hats.
___________________________________________________
This video was shown to me by Saumon Oboudiyat, and like most of the videos I put up here, I find it hilarious. Have fun with it.
___________________________________________________
This Monday, I received an email from my Uncle Kevin titled "Corrections." Because I have twice messed up the facts about Kevin, I am just going to show you all what he had to say, with my two cents put in where necessary.
Hey, we briefly touched on this during our B-day call, and I think you should rethink your journalistic integrity rules. You may not have to go the whole nine yards with getting confirmation of sources and stuff like that, but you need to at least get your stories straight.
I'm pretty sure I've called you on other birthdays. Maybe not all of them, but some of them. This past June 11th was not the first time ever. (Editor's Note: Notice how he called me the day after my birthday, not actually on it.)
Also, the main purpose of my call was to wish you a happy birthday. The fact that the conversation happened to go in the direction of your blog and the fact that you only mentioned one boat was just a coincidence. (Ed. Note: Whatever lets you sleep at night. And just so you know, you should strive to use the phrase "the fact that" only once per sentence at a maximum. I would know. I'm a writer.)
However, the main point of this email is to make a correction to your statement that I have a house boat. I do not have a house boat. I have a boat that I use as a house. Big difference, huge difference, very similar to this clip from the 4 minute mark to the end. (Ed. Note: I linked it for him. And this was the first I had seen of Captain Ron. Needless to say I watched the whole movie and was flabberghasted that I had never seen nor heard of this fine piece of film before. I whole-heartedly recommend it)
This is a house boat:
This is our boat (Ed. Note: That he uses as a house. Looks like some one forgot to be specific):
As you can see, HUGE difference, HUGE difference. Again, it's a boat that we are able to live on. NOT a house boat. Maybe you could stop by sometime and see it. Like last year when you were down with Aunt Judy and you didn't stop by. Maybe this year you could stop by. (Ed. Note: He really knows how to put on the guilt trip, but I have stopped by before, just not when he was there)
Your loving Uncle,
Kevin
When asked about why the concern over telling readers that he has a house boat, Kevin draws the line when readers "start to thinking I'm also have a couple of teeth missing, wear flannel shirts and greasy John Deere hats." Judging by your grammar, I couldn't blame them if they did. Just putting it out there, I have nothing wrong with flannel shirts and John Deere hats.
___________________________________________________
This video was shown to me by Saumon Oboudiyat, and like most of the videos I put up here, I find it hilarious. Have fun with it.
Always Serving,
Sobel Soup
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)