That brings up another thing that has happened since I last posted. Summer has ceased to exist and the dreaded school year has started up again. I, for one, find it ironic how everyone painfully awaits the end of school to get here, only to do mostly nothing once it actually comes. All that talk is moot now, though, since summer is over.
One reason I like baseball is because the season goes from the end of one school year, through the summer months, and through the start of the new school year. Another reason why I like baseball is the facial hair stylings of my hometown Philadelphia Phillies.
It is no secret to anyone that I love beards. Whether it be Greg Oden's beard, in all its mystical glory, or Kurt Warner's buzz beard, I have repeatedly been mesmerized by beards, and my lack of ability to grow them, in the blog. It may be a coincidence that I am subject to viewing the team with the greatest collection of facial hair in the league. For example, if someone asks me Phillies or Yankees, you all know what I will answer (TBD has been notorious for asking this question, with the answer being a little different than mine. Think almonds). It will of course be the Phillies, just because of their beard-growing ability. The Yankees aren't even allowed to have facial hair. In fact, they robbed the world of viewing a real-life Geico caveman from playing in baseball. Even if Johnny Damon didn't shave, the Phillies could do them one better, leading us to the first Fightin' on our list: The Wolfman.
1. Jayson Werth. Although he isn't as close to being "Big Sexy with the Glasses" as he was with the Orioles (if you didn't click on that link, trust me, you want to), he still makes looks damn good with his skinny goatee. That along with his beard (when he wants to have it) make for a look anyone would be jealous of.
2. Eric Bruntlett. This is truly a beard that Greg Oden would be jealous of. The fact that it covers his whole face makes for a wonderful piece of facial hair, not to mention that the consistent thickness of the beard makes it fit for a lumberjack. Call me crazy, but Bruntlett being blonde makes for a unique, yet much appreciated change-up from dark beards everywhere. (Honorable mention for this type of beard: Pedro Feliz. Pete Happy's beard is neither as full nor is it as recognizable, but I applaud his effort.)
3. Raúl Ibáñez. Rauuuuuuuuul (which originated with Raul G. Ordoñez, the greatest player in Swarthmore basketball history) is more of a classy guy, so he doesn't have any absurd looking goatees or full beards like his counterparts. Instead, he goes all class, with a simple soul patch. It says "I'm a gentleman, but I know how to show a lady a good time." In particular, I imagine said good time going down at some type of 70's disco.
4/5. Brad Lidge and Scott Eyre. The reason I am grouping these two relievers together is because they are both Greg Oden beard wanna-be's. There is a downside to this pursuit, seeing as Eyre is on the disabled list and Brad Lidge is having a worse season than, well, I can't really think of anyone who has had a worse season than Brad Lidge right now.
6. Brett Myers. I'm not showing this beard on the blog because honestly, it is atrocious. I do not want to make the readers of this blog simultaneously vomit and laugh hysterically, even though I would like to see what something like that would look like. Anyway, it's almost as bad as Ryan Franklin's beard, which I'm not even going to link here. It's half out of laziness, and half out of the policy that I'm not allowed to link something that I can't even look at myself on the blog.
Honorable Mentions: Chad Durbin (just as much neck as it is chin), Chase Utley (rugged), and Ryan Howard (all chin).
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With the start of school also comes the start of football season. Don't be mistaken by my lack of talk about the Eagles, they are my team. By "my team," I mean my favorite team. Come to think of it, they aren't as beloved as the Swarthmore Garnet Men's Soccer team, but besides that, there is no team that rivals them. Not even the Villanova Wildcats.
Also coming with football is fantasy football. This was previously my territory, probably even more so than blogging. I figured out that I had literally won 40 straight games on Yahoo. That is before last week, when I was taken down by O-Star Superstar. It was only because of Drew Brees, who faced the Detroit Lions, and their pathetic secondary. I was thinking of having me, Fat Dub, Jeffrey J. and my Grandmom (the one that can dunk) guest start for the Lions' secondary just to stop Drew Brees in Week 1. I probably should have, since he threw for 6 touchdowns and all. Anyway, what's done is done, and the loss is overwith. I'll recover somehow. When I realized I had lost on Tuesday morning, I listened to my favorite post-loss song at least 1,341 times. Something tells me my three-headed running back tandem of Michael Turner, Steven Jackson, and LaToeInjury Tomlinson were listening to it as well.
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It has been a while since I've posted, so I'm bypassing the video requests this post in favor of one of my favorite videos. Ever. Shaq got a raw deal for this rap, because in my opinion (and in TBD's), it is one of the illest freestyles ever.
"I love em', I don't leave em'. I got a vasectomy, now I can't breed em'"
Always Serving,
Sobel Soup
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