Late last Friday night, Jake Enterlin and I were bored. We did the thing that any two young, 16 year old males with driver's licenses and money to blow would do on a Friday evening. Of course I am talking about hitting up the Target that just got put into the Springfield mall. For those of you who don't know, the Target has pretty much anything anyone anywhere has ever wanted. Except for real wiffleballs. But that's a different story. Moving on. Young T and I were scouring the aisles at Target, looking for that perfect something that would complete our night. We eventually made it down to the men's clothing department, which if you haven't visited at Target, is pretty baller. It's got some nice Elmo hats, which Nah B. Eric, better known as Noah Frick, bought and frequently rocks, not to mention some nice jumpsuits that would put even T.J. Adams's best collection to shame. Do not be mistaken, however. Me and TBD didn't waste our time toiling in these inferior garments. If you are not aware by now, which, quite frankly, you really should be, we are two pretty huge ballers. That's why we went straight for the undergarments section.
Now I know what you are thinking. "Woah, woah. Two guys in an undergarments section? That's the coolest thing ever! They probably bought underwear together and everything!" While that would be pretty neat, that's not what we did. Undershirts, along with underpants, fall in the category of undergarments. That is what TBD and I were shopping for. While he got some high quality undershirts that are silky smooth (and tagless!! Gotta love Hanes), I was the one who came out as the big winner. Also in the undergarments section happen to be wife beaters. Once I laid my eyes on these, I knew they had to be mine. Why a beater? There are a couple of reasons actually. I'm not sure this even has to be said, but I'll say it anyway: You can never have enough beaters. In my personal case, I had none. I guess you could say I was really in need of some beaters. Even if they do make me look like Kevin Federline (the skinny version). The second reason was my checkered past littered with experiences of bad beaters. Looking at them in the Target, I couldn't help but reminisce about the I Love Mammals video.
Unfortunately, the beater wasn't a great accessory of mine in that video. According to my good friend Kara Nac, it looked as if it was a woman's tank top. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I really got short-changed (props to Sloth Campbell for the word choice). It was Jack Eiel who lost one of the good wife beaters in school, leaving our crew with three good beaters, and one meant for a 5 year old. Of course the shortest member of the group who also happened to lose the beater that caused the problem got the bad one right? Wrong. The Sobel Soup had to get the bad one. No respect.
Anyway, TBD bought the undershirts, and I bought the beaters, and just so you know, we got them on sale. I'd be damned if two of the most eligible bachelors in the county couldn't find a decent price on a few hot commoditites. I've worn the beaters almost everyday since then, and they really are satisfying. The beater fits comfortably, yet it feels as if I'm not wearing anything at all.
We left the Target and then smashed a few mailboxes. I'm just kidding, we actually got some Longboys and some high quality dining from Wendy's drive-thru menu. What is a Longboy, you ask? They are kind of hard to describe, and I'm feeling really lazy right about now. So just look at this picture. There is no cap to them, but that is just an advantage. You see, most people who buy drinks from convenience stores don't have the ability to drive without spilling something with no cap. But when you've got skills like I do, there is nothing to worry about. To go along with that, they are cheaper and there is about 8 more fluid ounces of drink inside. Sound like the greatest deal ever? Yeah, I think so, too. There is really no point in asking what kind we got; of course we got Arnie Palmer's, the greatest Longboy/drink of all time. Everything you need to know is pretty much embodied in my favorite Sportscenter commercial. You saw correct. 50% Iced Tea. 50% Lemonade. 100% Delicious bliss.
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The NCAA Tournament is right around the corner. And by right around the corner, I mean in about 12 hours. If you remember correctly, one of the best days of my young life was spent down at the Wachovia Center watching a day of basketball splendor. Also, Fat Dub managed to stay home from school that day to watch the games. I will do the same. I really hope it will be a great day, and of course, my Villanova Wildcats have to win for it to be a decent one at that. I'm thinking about tracking my day, similar to what I did last year on the blog. If I do anything interesting that you will want to read about, I'll be sure to do so.
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Another reason I'm not going to school tomorrow is because I am simply worn out. I need a mental health day (which is better: that, or a rental health day?). Why do I need such a thing? It is probably because I have been organizing the pinnie order for the Strath Haven Student Section, better known as the Sons of Ben. You probably lost out on your chance to get a pinnie if you are finding out about this for the first time, but considering I got over 100 people to buy them, I consider it a major success. My job was simply to unify the student section, and to make opposing teams and fans tremble in our presence, and I'm fairly certain I did that. Not only that, but I have a feeling the pinnies are going to be BO$$. More on the Sons of Ben in a later post. Honestly, I'm a little tired, and could use some shut-eye.
The video I'm including this week is of Triumph, Conan's dog friend that he frequently sent out to do a little reporting. This was probably a while ago, but I find it downright hysterical nonetheless. Just as a favor, I'll link you to part two of the video here.
"Burger King: Where all dragon masters eat!"
Always Serving,
Sobel Soup
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Respectfully Yours
I know, it's been a while, but you are lucky you are even reading this right now. I've decided to take a break from my normal Sunday afternoon activities (which typically involve several hours spent napping, making historically-accurate raps, or playing Minesweeper) to blog on all of your faces for a little bit. I would be lying to you if I said I was just doing this out of the goodness of my heart; I have a legitimate reason for posting.
In Friday's issue of the Philadelphia Inquirer, Bob Ford wrote an article explaining why fighting is hockey's problem. On first glance, some of you may agree, while others may say that hockey is the only thing drawing people to the NHL. I don't officially fall in either of those groups, so I decided to just make my own category. It goes something along the lines of "This article is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read so I'm going to email you and tell you how bad it was, and dish out several low blows while doing it." If you are doubting me right now, you really shouldn't. I'm not one to worry about wasting time, after all I did make a track-athlete profile that no one could see, and there was that inspirational dodgeball speech for the tournament that never happened. So yes, I did email Bob Ford and tell him how much of a moron he was for writing something like that. Of course I'm not satisfied just telling you about this, that's why I'm copying the email below.
Mr. Ford,
I have read your article on fighting in hockey, and I find it utterly preposterous that you would claim that it is the reason the NHL is only the "4th sport," as you put it. First of all, I neither find something wrong with fights, nor do I support them. For the record, I would not be totally opposed to taking fights out of the game, at least to the extent that the Olympics does. But to claim that fighting keeps fans from watching is ludicrous, not to mention a complete fallacy.
Your entire argument is based on the premise that people watched the Olympics, yet they do not watch the NHL and that the difference between Olympic hockey and the NHL is the prevalence of fighting. Because of those two factors, you claim fighting is the problem. The ratings variance is not related to fighting; it so clearly hinges upon the disparity of players' abilities that it makes me question whether you were thinking sanely when writing up this article or if you simply had nothing to write about and decided upon this. Can you name an NHL team that has a player as good as Mike Richards or Jonathan Toews on its fourth line? How about Bobby Ryan? Drawing blanks? Me too. The fact is, the level of play for international hockey so far surpasses that of the NHL, that it is irrational to think the same people would tune in to watch a full, 82 game hockey season if fighting were banned. If the Olympics had the same rules for fights as the NHL did, the viewership Sunday may have dipped ever-so-slightly, but it would not be as low as NHL playoff games currently are. To claim otherwise insults not only your intelligence, but the intelligence of your readers as well.
Thank you for hearing me out.
Respectfully yours,
Bennett J. Sobel
I read the email off to Jeff, and needless to say, he was loving it. His favorite parts were "it makes me question whether you were thinking sanely when writing up this article" and "Drawing blanks? Me too." He claimed I was "dogging" Ford, but I think he deserved it. I offset that by calling him Mr. Ford and ending the letter with a respectfully yours. I can criticize him all I want, but at the end of the day, his article probably got slightly more hits than my blog. Plus he writes for the Inquirer, so he is technically my superior, which is why I addressed him as Mr.
He probably has no idea that I am a 16 year old blogger with nothing better to do, which may explain why he hasn't answered me yet. Or it could be that he hasn't recovered from being schooled several times by a random emailer. Either way, if he ever does respond I'll be sure to put it on the blog.
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During my two and a half month leave of absence, the NCAA basketball season has been going on. It doesn't really need to be said, but I've been following my Villanova Wildcats as faithfully as ever. It was smooth sailing in the beginning of the season, they were 20-1 and had a No. 2 national ranking. Unfortunately, the Wildcats have limped into the Big East tournament, going 4-5 in their last 9 games, including 2-4 in their last 6, making for an overall record of 24-6. I'm disappointed to say the least, and not feeling very confident of success in the NCAA tournament for my Wildcats. But with a good showing in the Big East tournament, all of that can easily change, and I really hope it will. At the end of the day, we still have the Big East player of the year (at least he should be) Scottie Reynolds, a solid starting lineup with accomplished guards, and great depth. I'm not backing out of my prediction of NCAA champions that I made way back in the summer, I would just like to see them play well in the Big East tournament so I can feel good again.
In more exciting news, two people I know have seen/met a Villanova basketball player in recent weeks. The first was O-Star Superstar, who was getting a shape-up while Reggie Redding walked into the same barbershop as him. Of course he didn't say anything, because O-Star would obviously make a fool out of himself, and he knows it. So wisely he kept his mouth shut. The second person to meet Villanova basketball players was my sister, Lizzie (better known as Sizzie) who met and had a conversation with Antonio Pena and Reggie Redding in a Lids store. She happened to be buying me a Villanova hat at the same time they were getting other hats customized, and Antonio sparked up conversation. Only knowing that would have made my day, but she hunted down a Sharpie and got the two guys to sign it for me. I'll probably make a shrine in my room for the hat, not to mention the receipt they also signed.
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I should also add that the Soup Kitchen will be home to a new poster, Fat Dub. Because my posts are few and far between, and because he is a far superior writer than I am, I invited him to be a co-poster. This will suffice all of your Soup Kitchen fixes and add some variety to the blog. This isn't to say there will be posts everyday, but there will certainly be more than there had been before. I look forward to sharing this domain with my boy, Fat Dub. I just hope he doesn't blog about Duke.
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I would be remiss if I didn't mention the release of Brian Westbrook. I can't help but think about when the Eagles released B-Dawk last year, which is one of the main reasons I started the Soup Kitchen in the first place. He was the greatest Eagles running back of all time, and I will root for him to have success anywhere he goes. As a tribute to B-West, I am including a some highlights of him for the awesome video of this post. My personal favorite moment is the punt return touchdown he had in the waning moments vs. the Giants.
Always Serving,
Sobel Soup
In Friday's issue of the Philadelphia Inquirer, Bob Ford wrote an article explaining why fighting is hockey's problem. On first glance, some of you may agree, while others may say that hockey is the only thing drawing people to the NHL. I don't officially fall in either of those groups, so I decided to just make my own category. It goes something along the lines of "This article is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read so I'm going to email you and tell you how bad it was, and dish out several low blows while doing it." If you are doubting me right now, you really shouldn't. I'm not one to worry about wasting time, after all I did make a track-athlete profile that no one could see, and there was that inspirational dodgeball speech for the tournament that never happened. So yes, I did email Bob Ford and tell him how much of a moron he was for writing something like that. Of course I'm not satisfied just telling you about this, that's why I'm copying the email below.
Mr. Ford,
I have read your article on fighting in hockey, and I find it utterly preposterous that you would claim that it is the reason the NHL is only the "4th sport," as you put it. First of all, I neither find something wrong with fights, nor do I support them. For the record, I would not be totally opposed to taking fights out of the game, at least to the extent that the Olympics does. But to claim that fighting keeps fans from watching is ludicrous, not to mention a complete fallacy.
Your entire argument is based on the premise that people watched the Olympics, yet they do not watch the NHL and that the difference between Olympic hockey and the NHL is the prevalence of fighting. Because of those two factors, you claim fighting is the problem. The ratings variance is not related to fighting; it so clearly hinges upon the disparity of players' abilities that it makes me question whether you were thinking sanely when writing up this article or if you simply had nothing to write about and decided upon this. Can you name an NHL team that has a player as good as Mike Richards or Jonathan Toews on its fourth line? How about Bobby Ryan? Drawing blanks? Me too. The fact is, the level of play for international hockey so far surpasses that of the NHL, that it is irrational to think the same people would tune in to watch a full, 82 game hockey season if fighting were banned. If the Olympics had the same rules for fights as the NHL did, the viewership Sunday may have dipped ever-so-slightly, but it would not be as low as NHL playoff games currently are. To claim otherwise insults not only your intelligence, but the intelligence of your readers as well.
Thank you for hearing me out.
Respectfully yours,
Bennett J. Sobel
I read the email off to Jeff, and needless to say, he was loving it. His favorite parts were "it makes me question whether you were thinking sanely when writing up this article" and "Drawing blanks? Me too." He claimed I was "dogging" Ford, but I think he deserved it. I offset that by calling him Mr. Ford and ending the letter with a respectfully yours. I can criticize him all I want, but at the end of the day, his article probably got slightly more hits than my blog. Plus he writes for the Inquirer, so he is technically my superior, which is why I addressed him as Mr.
He probably has no idea that I am a 16 year old blogger with nothing better to do, which may explain why he hasn't answered me yet. Or it could be that he hasn't recovered from being schooled several times by a random emailer. Either way, if he ever does respond I'll be sure to put it on the blog.
___________________________________________________
During my two and a half month leave of absence, the NCAA basketball season has been going on. It doesn't really need to be said, but I've been following my Villanova Wildcats as faithfully as ever. It was smooth sailing in the beginning of the season, they were 20-1 and had a No. 2 national ranking. Unfortunately, the Wildcats have limped into the Big East tournament, going 4-5 in their last 9 games, including 2-4 in their last 6, making for an overall record of 24-6. I'm disappointed to say the least, and not feeling very confident of success in the NCAA tournament for my Wildcats. But with a good showing in the Big East tournament, all of that can easily change, and I really hope it will. At the end of the day, we still have the Big East player of the year (at least he should be) Scottie Reynolds, a solid starting lineup with accomplished guards, and great depth. I'm not backing out of my prediction of NCAA champions that I made way back in the summer, I would just like to see them play well in the Big East tournament so I can feel good again.
In more exciting news, two people I know have seen/met a Villanova basketball player in recent weeks. The first was O-Star Superstar, who was getting a shape-up while Reggie Redding walked into the same barbershop as him. Of course he didn't say anything, because O-Star would obviously make a fool out of himself, and he knows it. So wisely he kept his mouth shut. The second person to meet Villanova basketball players was my sister, Lizzie (better known as Sizzie) who met and had a conversation with Antonio Pena and Reggie Redding in a Lids store. She happened to be buying me a Villanova hat at the same time they were getting other hats customized, and Antonio sparked up conversation. Only knowing that would have made my day, but she hunted down a Sharpie and got the two guys to sign it for me. I'll probably make a shrine in my room for the hat, not to mention the receipt they also signed.
___________________________________________________
I should also add that the Soup Kitchen will be home to a new poster, Fat Dub. Because my posts are few and far between, and because he is a far superior writer than I am, I invited him to be a co-poster. This will suffice all of your Soup Kitchen fixes and add some variety to the blog. This isn't to say there will be posts everyday, but there will certainly be more than there had been before. I look forward to sharing this domain with my boy, Fat Dub. I just hope he doesn't blog about Duke.
___________________________________________________
I would be remiss if I didn't mention the release of Brian Westbrook. I can't help but think about when the Eagles released B-Dawk last year, which is one of the main reasons I started the Soup Kitchen in the first place. He was the greatest Eagles running back of all time, and I will root for him to have success anywhere he goes. As a tribute to B-West, I am including a some highlights of him for the awesome video of this post. My personal favorite moment is the punt return touchdown he had in the waning moments vs. the Giants.
Always Serving,
Sobel Soup
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