Late last Friday night, Jake Enterlin and I were bored. We did the thing that any two young, 16 year old males with driver's licenses and money to blow would do on a Friday evening. Of course I am talking about hitting up the Target that just got put into the Springfield mall. For those of you who don't know, the Target has pretty much anything anyone anywhere has ever wanted. Except for real wiffleballs. But that's a different story. Moving on. Young T and I were scouring the aisles at Target, looking for that perfect something that would complete our night. We eventually made it down to the men's clothing department, which if you haven't visited at Target, is pretty baller. It's got some nice Elmo hats, which Nah B. Eric, better known as Noah Frick, bought and frequently rocks, not to mention some nice jumpsuits that would put even T.J. Adams's best collection to shame. Do not be mistaken, however. Me and TBD didn't waste our time toiling in these inferior garments. If you are not aware by now, which, quite frankly, you really should be, we are two pretty huge ballers. That's why we went straight for the undergarments section.
Now I know what you are thinking. "Woah, woah. Two guys in an undergarments section? That's the coolest thing ever! They probably bought underwear together and everything!" While that would be pretty neat, that's not what we did. Undershirts, along with underpants, fall in the category of undergarments. That is what TBD and I were shopping for. While he got some high quality undershirts that are silky smooth (and tagless!! Gotta love Hanes), I was the one who came out as the big winner. Also in the undergarments section happen to be wife beaters. Once I laid my eyes on these, I knew they had to be mine. Why a beater? There are a couple of reasons actually. I'm not sure this even has to be said, but I'll say it anyway: You can never have enough beaters. In my personal case, I had none. I guess you could say I was really in need of some beaters. Even if they do make me look like Kevin Federline (the skinny version). The second reason was my checkered past littered with experiences of bad beaters. Looking at them in the Target, I couldn't help but reminisce about the I Love Mammals video.
Unfortunately, the beater wasn't a great accessory of mine in that video. According to my good friend Kara Nac, it looked as if it was a woman's tank top. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I really got short-changed (props to Sloth Campbell for the word choice). It was Jack Eiel who lost one of the good wife beaters in school, leaving our crew with three good beaters, and one meant for a 5 year old. Of course the shortest member of the group who also happened to lose the beater that caused the problem got the bad one right? Wrong. The Sobel Soup had to get the bad one. No respect.
Anyway, TBD bought the undershirts, and I bought the beaters, and just so you know, we got them on sale. I'd be damned if two of the most eligible bachelors in the county couldn't find a decent price on a few hot commoditites. I've worn the beaters almost everyday since then, and they really are satisfying. The beater fits comfortably, yet it feels as if I'm not wearing anything at all.
We left the Target and then smashed a few mailboxes. I'm just kidding, we actually got some Longboys and some high quality dining from Wendy's drive-thru menu. What is a Longboy, you ask? They are kind of hard to describe, and I'm feeling really lazy right about now. So just look at this picture. There is no cap to them, but that is just an advantage. You see, most people who buy drinks from convenience stores don't have the ability to drive without spilling something with no cap. But when you've got skills like I do, there is nothing to worry about. To go along with that, they are cheaper and there is about 8 more fluid ounces of drink inside. Sound like the greatest deal ever? Yeah, I think so, too. There is really no point in asking what kind we got; of course we got Arnie Palmer's, the greatest Longboy/drink of all time. Everything you need to know is pretty much embodied in my favorite Sportscenter commercial. You saw correct. 50% Iced Tea. 50% Lemonade. 100% Delicious bliss.
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The NCAA Tournament is right around the corner. And by right around the corner, I mean in about 12 hours. If you remember correctly, one of the best days of my young life was spent down at the Wachovia Center watching a day of basketball splendor. Also, Fat Dub managed to stay home from school that day to watch the games. I will do the same. I really hope it will be a great day, and of course, my Villanova Wildcats have to win for it to be a decent one at that. I'm thinking about tracking my day, similar to what I did last year on the blog. If I do anything interesting that you will want to read about, I'll be sure to do so.
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Another reason I'm not going to school tomorrow is because I am simply worn out. I need a mental health day (which is better: that, or a rental health day?). Why do I need such a thing? It is probably because I have been organizing the pinnie order for the Strath Haven Student Section, better known as the Sons of Ben. You probably lost out on your chance to get a pinnie if you are finding out about this for the first time, but considering I got over 100 people to buy them, I consider it a major success. My job was simply to unify the student section, and to make opposing teams and fans tremble in our presence, and I'm fairly certain I did that. Not only that, but I have a feeling the pinnies are going to be BO$$. More on the Sons of Ben in a later post. Honestly, I'm a little tired, and could use some shut-eye.
The video I'm including this week is of Triumph, Conan's dog friend that he frequently sent out to do a little reporting. This was probably a while ago, but I find it downright hysterical nonetheless. Just as a favor, I'll link you to part two of the video here.
"Burger King: Where all dragon masters eat!"
Always Serving,
Sobel Soup
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