The Curious Case of Omar Randall

For those of you that are not familiar with Omar Randall, he is a mysterious young man. First, to set the stage for you all, Omar and I are almost brothers. We are tight. Come to think of it, we kind of resemble these guys, except for that whole love thing. Its kind of the opposite with me and Omar. Our friendship is fueled by our rivalry with each other. I only ridicule him and share stories about him to the world because I want to stir the pot a bit. So, Omar, while I do know that you read the blog, please don't gossip about me for this.

The first thing you will learn about Omar, probably before you even learn his name, is that he is always chewing gum. I've been in his house, and he actually has a cupboard shelf full of packs of gum. I'm going to be completely honest when I say that the sight of the Terrific Tower of Tasty Tar will blow your mind. Its not even that Omar chews the gum for that long. Its the fact that he has more gum than Stride does surplus that allows him to wear out his jaw bone more than the bachelor does the word "amazing." I've always waited for Omar to go through something like this, but its yet to happen.

After spending a small amount of time with Omar, chances are he will come up with a nickname for you. He has an uncanny ability to deliver just the right name at just the right time. He has named himself O-Star Superstar, along with the countless other names he has created. Now, anyone can come up with a new nickname, but one has to know how to get it out in public. That's where Omar's gossiping abilities come into play. He is probably the world's greatest verbal marketer. In less than two weeks, he implemented the name Cran for a kind sir. According to him, he made Cran "go global." Only the superstar...

I have to share one more story with you about Omar. Along with making up nicknames and spreading gossip, Omar's last specialty is making up ridiculous stories and sticking to them. The best example of this is the Wawa story. Omar, a friend named Downs, and I were at my house. Downs and I locked him out of the garage and Omar left. He was gone for 15 minutes when he finally came back. Downs and I asked him where he had been and he said he walked to Wawa. Now, I'm hoping none of you actually know the distance between my house and the Wawa or else I may need to look into a little thing I like to call a restraining order. For those of you that aren't stalkers/my friends who know the town of Wallingford, the Wawa is about 5-10 minutes driving from my house. Omar said he got there and back, so we asked him what he bought. He pulled out an iced tea bottle and a pack of gum. You already know about the pack of gum, so that offered nothing to us. The iced tea bottle, however, was capless and completely infested with ants. There were more bugs in there than in this popular Disney motion picture. Omar claimed to have dropped it. Then he pulled out the gum package and inserted the last piece into his mouth. I know what you're thinking: he chews gum like a madman. Not even the superstar could chew that amount of gum in that small amount of time. Downs and I, super sleuths that we were, figured that this was impossible. While Omar has since admitted his guilt, he has never, ever offered an alibi. This just adds to the mystery of the Superstar. If I could get three questions of mine answered, I would ask what Omar was doing that night along with the plot of Lost and why Weapon-X left for Denver (yes, I realize that is the second time this post, it's called publicity).

On a side note that has absolutely nothing to do with what I have previously said, I am looking to do a prank, maybe involving the readers of this blog or possibly having to do with Facebook. Any suggestions would be gladly accepted and thought over.

Always Serving,

Sobel Soup