Ladies... Meet the Sobel Soup

In my last post, I spoke about eating Big Macs, and my recent struggles in that department. These times have continued, and I remain very hungry. I do have to give AMPAP (As Much Props as Possible) to my boy Wheels Walters, who ate a huge Big Mac the other day on a young woman in the library. To make my job of macking on the ladies easier, I have tried several times unsuccessfully to show my blog to them. I know what you are thinking, and yes, I do realize how truly pathetic that is. But, I really have nothing else to go on, and when Jake Enterlin (formerly TBD) dares you, it is pretty much a requirement that you have to do it. So, to make their (and my) job a little easier, I have decided to tell everyone about myself. Think of this as my E-Harmony dating profile, or whatever they call them these days.

Television Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. First of all, television used to be one of the main facets of my life. Back in my prime, about 8th grade or so, I would watch close to 4 hours of TV a night. Although my production has since decreased, television remains an important part of my life. The TV show that started it all for me had to be the Fresh Prince. My love for this fine standard of programming excellence all started with Geoffrey. He, like me, is quick with a witty line. He can also groove with the best of them. Along the lines of grooving, Carlton's Dance was a side-splitter. I have many a times attempted to equal the snapping arms and the fast-moving legs of Master Banks, but have yet to succeed. He could also hit a killer note when singing Jungle Fever. As you can see I can go on and on with the links to great moments of the show. One more thing, whenever Jazz got thrown out, it was always funny. I can't remember one time when it got old, sort of like this.
Honorable Mention: Dhani Tackles the Globe (I'm a sucker for the bow-tie)

My Choice of Attire: Sweater vests do not count, simply because I have already done an entire post on that. So besides that, it would have to be anything that Jay Wright has ever worn. He is, for those of you that do not know, the head coach of my Villanova Wildcats and undoubtedly the best dressed coach in all of college basketball. I would die to have a pick of clothes in Jay Wright's closet. He is my self-proclaimed style mentor, besides your friend and my favorite, of course.

My Ideal Day: First, I would have breakfast, presumably made by the lady who is attracted by this post. This breakfast would consist of the best foods. Of course I am talking about bacon, bacon, and more bacon. You don't have to consult me, you can pretty much ask Beans about it, and he will tell you all you need to know. Next would be a romantic picnic on the beach. I would supply the candles, which would be as un-necessary as that hyphen, and the lady friend would supply the food. After that, I would go on a long, moon-lit walk on the beach, picking up quaint shells and storing them in a small, blue bucket. Actually, I am completely lying. After the picnic I would watch both the first and second seasons of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, all the way through. That pretty much sums up the perfect day in my eyes.

My Favorite Song: I Try- Macy Gray/ Get Silly- VIC (I refuse to recognize that Soulja Boy took part in this song). Macy's voice speaks for itself in I Try, and Get Silly just gets me so hyphy, I can't help but stand up and try to do the Carlton dance.

Celebrity Look-a-Like: Michael Phelps. I know that you are all thinking that Michael Phelps is about 6'5'', with a 7'0'' wingspan. The comparison pretty much starts and ends with the facial region. It especially looks out of place because I legitimately cannot swim, and he did alright over in Beijing.

Favorite Power Ranger: Tommy, hands down. No explanation is even necessary.

Favorite Stubble Beard: This really isn't even a competition. I just had to put this in here because I had to get this off my chest. Even though Kurt Warner has twice caused me pain the NFC Championship Games, I have to give him the props that he rightfully deserves. He has the greatest stubble beard mankind has ever seen. Clay Packel, of previous Soup Kitchen Fame, may actually stand a chance to rival him in the stubble beard department, but he has a ways to go.

Favorite Cooked Vegetable: Cooked Zucchini. The exquisite taste of cooked zucchini in the summer time is the best vacation my taste buds have ever been on. I actually considered growing a vegetable garden of my own, but then I realized it would take a lot of work. On top of that, if Howie Long ever came to my house, he would never let me hear the end of it for having my own 'Man Garden'. I quickly decided against it, and stuck with wishing that I had a permanent supply of zucchini.

So there you have it ladies, that is the Sobel Soup for you. Get back to me as you wish. And just so all of you know, this was done completely out of satire, except for the Fresh Prince part, that's true.

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Sweater Vest Spottings: 43 (41 Last Thursday)

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Always Serving,

Sobel Soup